Band falls honorably with flooded rehearsal space


BRATTLEBORO, VT – Brave members of the late synth-punk band Ejector Seats suffered flooding from a burst sewer pipe in their rehearsal room, during which they decided to keep playing, confirmed sources close to the group.

“You could tell from the look in their eyes that they knew it was the honorable thing to do,” tearfully said lead keyboardist partner Kerri Smythe, who was asked to watch the band practice. That day. “They stopped just for a moment to greet each other and admitted what an honor it was to serve in the seats for the past few years, then continued their set as if murky water didn’t rise to their navels. to me, I fucked up from there!

Although many remembered the calamity with sentimentality and admiration, others were simply confused as to why anyone would intentionally meet their demise in such a way.

“The pipe was in plain sight, and frankly, not that hard for an idiot to temporarily reattach until a professional came along,” said local plumber Lonny Vermucci Jr. “Coming down with your crew is a romantic idea if you’re on a battleship or something, but sinking with your keytar? In a basement full of shitty water? That confuses me.

Noted Navy oceanographer Bob Ballard had a more sympathetic view and offered his plans for a full investigation of the wreck.

“Between you, me, and the barrier reef, I was looking for an excuse to speed up old Argo, which has been gathering dust in my garage since the Titanic was unearthed,” an excited Ballard said. “Through sonar I should be able to identify all the vintage synthesizers out there and learn what made those guys tick.”

“Oh, and I’m calling dibs on a Microkorg, if we find one,” Ballard added. “I need this built-in vocoder for my next ambient album ‘Sounds From Way, Way Down’. I still regret not stealing anything from that damn Titanic.

As of press time, an audio recording of a distress call made by a member of the group in secret revealed that the group ended up drowning in just three feet of water.


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